I regret listening to Rolling Stones top ten albums of all time.
I knew as soon as I thought "i should listen to Rolling Stones top ten albums of all time" that I had fucked myself over. I just didn't realize it would be this bad. Four Beatles albums and two Bob Dylan albums are in their top ten. So you're telling me sixty percent of the ten greatest albums of all time, ALL TIME, were created by two artists. This list considers every genre, artist, noise or static ever recorded and called music. Out of hundreds of millions of albums this is what you come up with? Get bent Rolling Stone. I always knew you were a joke. But this is unforgivable.
All of this is clearly just my opinion. You are free to, and should, feel however you want about the following albums and artists.
10. The Beatles - White Album
This is just The Beatles shoving as many different musical styles as they can think of into one album. It's an unnecessarily long 30 tracks yet runs just over an hour. I'm not going to say every song should be six plus minutes long. But when you average under three it means you aren't writing anything substantial. Almost every song on this album feels and sounds like they just sat in the studio with open mics, played a bunch of random shit, cut and spliced it into "songs", and then said someone sing over this.
Arguably the only tracks that are listenable are While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Helter Skelter. They are the only two tracks that have any cohesiveness at all and they aren't even good.
Revolution 9 isn't even a song. It is literally just noises mashed into an over eight minute track. I have heard people say this "song" is genius. It's nothing but a deranged acid trip. Honestly I don't know if I could listen to this entire album again unless I was high as fuck.
I have some pretty strong opinions about why Charles Manson went full on crazy and decided killing was cool. The White Album, in my opinion, was a tool and he used in his mind control games. I didn't think he believed anything he said when it came to it being a message from The Beatles. But after listening to it front to back, I may reconsider. If I were perpetually high and listening to this shit on repeat I would start believing some fucked up shit too.
9. Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde
Well. At least I can understand why people like this. It's complete songs with structure and movements and all the stuff that makes sounds turn into a song. But what the fuck is up with Bob using inflection in all the weirdest places? he already has a voice that is bland anyway. Then he just makes it weird.
The songwriting is actually somewhat compelling at times. But it's nothing exceptional or thought provoking. It's not that fun either. So I can't really get behind it. As far as story tellers go he isn't that good.
I'm never listening to this shit again. Not my thing. But I didn't get angry that I was putting myself through it either. Top ten album it certainly is not. But it's not a hot pile of garbage either.
8. The Clash - London Calling
Punk my ass! This is ska and it's bad ska.
There are 19 tracks on this album and I bet you couldn't name more than 2. I know I couldn't before listening to it. I'll forget them shortly I am sure.
I am pissed that I was lead to believe this is the worlds best punk album. It's defining moment. The reason the genre exists the way it does today. It's flagrantly disingenuous to call this punk at all. It's so mainstream it hurts my soul. Which is exactly why it's on this list I guess.
7. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street
Good, old fashioned, stoned out, musician music! Good is subjective. The subject of this section isn't very good. This isn't a rock album either, it's a blues album hiding behind a rock n roll mask. I guess that's just all early rock music though so I can't hold it against The Stones.
In case you weren't aware Mick Jagger can not sing. People bitch about James Hetfield making more noises than forming word, have you ever listened to this album? Mick does not pronounce anything in full, sometimes he doesn't even start. He just mumbles in a manner vaguely similar to the pronunciation of words.
I'll admit I can understand if someone truly likes this album. But I doubt anyone genuinely does. It's honestly a really fucking annoying album and makes it really hard to work. I would rather take a test, the results of which determine whether I live or die, while the test administrator runs their fingernails down a chalkboard.
Actually this album would be great if you removed everything but the piano parts.
6. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
I quit! the rest of the list is below. You can listen if you like but I can't take anymore. I would rather listen to MMMBop on repeat for 24 straight hours. Alright, that's not true. But I would rather listen to Hanson than most of these. For the record I have listened to all of the remaining entry's save for Bob Dylan in their entirety before. I have similar neutral to downright hateful opinions about them as well.
I simply cannot fathom how these 10 albums define the greatest of all music. This is a popularity contest at it's worst. I'll add just because a band or artist did something first does not mean they did it best. I respect the Beatles and the influence they had on the music to follow them. But 4 out of the top 10 albums of all time. I think not!
5. The Beatles - Rubber Soul
4. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
3. The Beatles - Revolver
2. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
1. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band
All of this is clearly just my opinion. You are free to, and should, feel however you want about the following albums and artists.
10. The Beatles - White Album
This is just The Beatles shoving as many different musical styles as they can think of into one album. It's an unnecessarily long 30 tracks yet runs just over an hour. I'm not going to say every song should be six plus minutes long. But when you average under three it means you aren't writing anything substantial. Almost every song on this album feels and sounds like they just sat in the studio with open mics, played a bunch of random shit, cut and spliced it into "songs", and then said someone sing over this.
Arguably the only tracks that are listenable are While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Helter Skelter. They are the only two tracks that have any cohesiveness at all and they aren't even good.
Revolution 9 isn't even a song. It is literally just noises mashed into an over eight minute track. I have heard people say this "song" is genius. It's nothing but a deranged acid trip. Honestly I don't know if I could listen to this entire album again unless I was high as fuck.
I have some pretty strong opinions about why Charles Manson went full on crazy and decided killing was cool. The White Album, in my opinion, was a tool and he used in his mind control games. I didn't think he believed anything he said when it came to it being a message from The Beatles. But after listening to it front to back, I may reconsider. If I were perpetually high and listening to this shit on repeat I would start believing some fucked up shit too.
9. Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde
Well. At least I can understand why people like this. It's complete songs with structure and movements and all the stuff that makes sounds turn into a song. But what the fuck is up with Bob using inflection in all the weirdest places? he already has a voice that is bland anyway. Then he just makes it weird.
The songwriting is actually somewhat compelling at times. But it's nothing exceptional or thought provoking. It's not that fun either. So I can't really get behind it. As far as story tellers go he isn't that good.
I'm never listening to this shit again. Not my thing. But I didn't get angry that I was putting myself through it either. Top ten album it certainly is not. But it's not a hot pile of garbage either.
8. The Clash - London Calling
Punk my ass! This is ska and it's bad ska.
There are 19 tracks on this album and I bet you couldn't name more than 2. I know I couldn't before listening to it. I'll forget them shortly I am sure.
I am pissed that I was lead to believe this is the worlds best punk album. It's defining moment. The reason the genre exists the way it does today. It's flagrantly disingenuous to call this punk at all. It's so mainstream it hurts my soul. Which is exactly why it's on this list I guess.
7. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street
Good, old fashioned, stoned out, musician music! Good is subjective. The subject of this section isn't very good. This isn't a rock album either, it's a blues album hiding behind a rock n roll mask. I guess that's just all early rock music though so I can't hold it against The Stones.
In case you weren't aware Mick Jagger can not sing. People bitch about James Hetfield making more noises than forming word, have you ever listened to this album? Mick does not pronounce anything in full, sometimes he doesn't even start. He just mumbles in a manner vaguely similar to the pronunciation of words.
I'll admit I can understand if someone truly likes this album. But I doubt anyone genuinely does. It's honestly a really fucking annoying album and makes it really hard to work. I would rather take a test, the results of which determine whether I live or die, while the test administrator runs their fingernails down a chalkboard.
Actually this album would be great if you removed everything but the piano parts.
6. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
I quit! the rest of the list is below. You can listen if you like but I can't take anymore. I would rather listen to MMMBop on repeat for 24 straight hours. Alright, that's not true. But I would rather listen to Hanson than most of these. For the record I have listened to all of the remaining entry's save for Bob Dylan in their entirety before. I have similar neutral to downright hateful opinions about them as well.
I simply cannot fathom how these 10 albums define the greatest of all music. This is a popularity contest at it's worst. I'll add just because a band or artist did something first does not mean they did it best. I respect the Beatles and the influence they had on the music to follow them. But 4 out of the top 10 albums of all time. I think not!
5. The Beatles - Rubber Soul
4. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
3. The Beatles - Revolver
2. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
1. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band
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