Your Favorite Podcast Sucks

 I found myself looking for a new podcast to listen to. Specifically a music podcast. So I hit Spotify and looked at the top music podcasts. I ran across a podcast called "Your Favorite Band Sucks". A little research led me to believe it was a comedy podcast hosted by some guys named Mark and Tyler. So I figured what the hell. I'll give it a shot.

 Comedy is seriously becoming a term we use far too loosely. Nothing these guys say is funny. They do laugh at themselves often. I guess that's what makes it funny. Ok... I have laughed 3 or 4 times.

 One of their big complaints is that bands mimic, steal or borrow from other artists. Well no shit Sherlock. That's how influence works. It's the most natural thing to hear something you like and want to create your own version. They often throw fits about how a band is credited with starting something when it isn't true. Ok. That's fair and in some cases a fun fact, but has exactly dick all to do with whether the music is good, bad or anything in between. Maybe the point is they are unoriginal and can't actually write their own shit. Guess what. I don't give a fuck! Everybody takes someone else's shit, thinks its cool, and then copies it to some degree. Unless a band is literally taking someone else's music and just claiming it to be their own I don't care. Yes I know this happens, looking at you Led Zeppelin. But if you hear something cool, speed it up or slow it down, play it backwards, add an effect or a nuance to the riff, and I like it better, it's better. That's how a subjectivity works. Sorry if you think it's not pure or whatever bullshit you convinced yourself makes something good.

 These dudes are so stuck on this that it comes up in damn near every fucking episode. Usually right at the top. They rarely pass up an opportunity to mention bands who did it first or did it better. Then say shit like listen to them instead, get your life together, listen to better music. It sounds elitist. Maybe they are trying to simply give music recommendations. But if that's the point it's a massive failure.

 These guys love to contradict themselves. They will say something in an episode about how the only reason a band is popular because of marketing, or hype or whatever the reasoning is, the turn around in another episode and say Rolling Stone or whoever doesn't get to decide the masses are wrong. Umm.... That's exactly what you are doing bros. They constantly point out how simple a band is, then turn around later and say simplicity isn't necessarily a bad thing. Correct. Simplicity is not always a bad thing. In fact it can be a strength. There are a fuck load of examples of inconsistency of throughout their entire catalog. I'm not going any further into it. If you listen and can't pick them out I don't know what to tell you.

 Did you know we are all the same. What I mean is if you are a fan of a band you are exactly like every other fan. You dress the same, you're the same age, you have the same hobbies, ect. What? I have never been in a room with a bunch of fans of the same band and thought, everyone of these people are the same. Again they are trying to be funny when they go off on their diatribes about fans. It's not funny. They are generalizing a large group of people and then using this false narrative as reasoning behind their distaste for a band. I can't sit here and act like many bands don't have annoying as fuck fan bases. But that's an exception, not the rule. Even then not every fan is a complete douche. Even Tool has some pretty alright fans.

 Lyrics and lyrical meaning are not these guys strength. They love to point out how many lyricists write lyrics about books or philosophers or whatever, implying that they are hacks because it's unoriginal. Well if you find something that you relate to and want to share, is it not natural to spin that into a new medium and share it with a new audience? Why is this a litmus test for quality? Well it's not. In probably the worst example of projecting your own opinions on someone else's words, during the Rush episode they say The Trees is about how Neil Peart thinks he's better than everyone else. Paraphrasing of course. Here is the thing. That song is an analogous commentary on socialism. This isn't a political blog so I'll leave it at that. But it's one example of being flat out wrong and using it as an example of why the music and band "sucks".

 If these guys made it clear these were just their opinions and hey, you don't have to agree, I would have almost zero issues with this pod. Certainly not nearly enough for an entire blog post. But they take the posture that they are correct and if you disagree you're an ignorant piece of shit.

 Worst of all their opinions completely ignore the most important aspect of music, or any form of art. First of all it's highly, highly subjective. I can't tell you what to like or what makes you feel something. There are no objective truths in music as it pertains to what is pleasing to or connects to an individual. Secondly they ignore the fact, an actual objective truth, that music can simply be entertainment. It doesn't have to have some greater meaning, or be some masterpiece to be good music.

 So I just wrote a bunch of shit about this podcast just to say after listening to almost their entire back catalog I have no idea what the purpose or narrative of this podcast is. I am left with a couple of options.

 Option one. These guys are miserable, pretentious fucks who think they are so woke they can't possibly like anything popular. They are simply on a higher plane existence. So fucking woke bro! As if they are the only ones who know what "good music" truly is. I could agree that a lot of popular music is often inferior to bands and artists that get little to no attention. The music industry is brutally unfair. Most industries are brutally unfair. But this isn't the approach they take. Not so far as I can tell anyway. So I am left with option one being pretentious, hypocritical douche bags. Or wait! Maybe it's worse than that. Maybe they are so woke they think we all need them to be our moral compass. It could be that they are pointing out all the negative shit about the bands we all love because they can see, from their exalted spot high above us, that we need guidance. That's it! they're fucking Jesus! Oh man. I better pay close attention. My mom would be really happy to find out I finally found God.

 Option two. This podcast is just one big troll. These guys knew that shit talking popular bands would get reactions. They admit this to a degree when they say they don't care if you agree or hate listen. They just want you to listen. Some evidence of this is the fact there are two hosts with two plus years of episodes and they haven't disagreed about a single aspect of any band they have discussed. That is impossible in the real world. I can talk to someone with a mutual hatred of a band and we won't agree on every aspect of what makes that band suck. If this is the case they are doing it fairly well. But they should be funny if this is what they are all about. As I stated previously they aren't. A big old failure if this in fact what they set out to do. I would probably respect this option most if it were true.

 Option three. They should have named the podcast "Your Favorite Musician Sucks". Since this is eighty five percent of what they talk about it would be more accurate. It would also allow them to separate the art from the artist. Which in most cases is a completely normal and acceptable thing to do. Everyone is a tool! Everyone! Do not meet your heroes! (No Matt did not come up with this, I have been saying it forever, and I heard it from someone else.) If this were the case and this was their narrative this podcast actually wouldn't suck. It would be almost perfectly executed.

 Now having said all this, I'm going to admit I do enjoy aspects of this podcast. I find the information they bring up about the history of artists and their lives fascinating. I am always open to music recommendations. They do bring up great points, sometimes ad nauseam, on some important topics that ideally, everyone should be aware of. Such as how influenced by marketing and group think we all are. Or how deifying people who die early for no god damn good reason. Both things I agree vehemently with.

 Bottom line the information they talk about and a lot of their opinions are spot on or I agree with. The problem is that it's poorly executed.

 I'll keep listening to it. I'm not sure if I enjoy it, hate it, just like the info. I have no idea. Which is the problem I am having. There is no clear narrative. No message to take away. It's just poorly executed. It's purely entertainment for me. JUST LIKE FUCKING MUSIC CAN BE!!!! Plus I find the irony of these guys talking shit about other people doing the exact same thing they are doing. Plus one admits to knowing nothing about music, the other plays and loves country music. Problematic to be certain. Or maybe that's just a gimmick. I have no idea. I don't personally know these guys. That's the whole point of this post. I don't know what this pod is or how I feel about it.

 Oh oh oh! One of their favorite things to say is "popularity doesn't mean a band is good". In a bonus pod they read, wait no, they made comments like "fuck you" or "shut up dumbass" over the other one reading listiner emails. In that episode they said (paraphrasing, again) that they have a fuck load of listeners so they must be doing something right. I guess they are.

 All I know for sure is if your favorite podcast is Your Favorite Band Sucks, your favorite podcast sucks.